Sometimes, when things get uncomfortable, I fall back on bad habits.
Actually, it’s pretty much like breaking a leg. You might get your cast off, but after a few days it starts hurting again so you start using your crutches. You walk with them for a few days, learn how to balance and trust yourself again, before leaving them in the past. Addiction is pretty similar in that sense sometimes. The recovery element is leaving the crutch in the past but remembering the components that help you to balance. ☺️ I know for some people recovery is very black and white. But with that mindset can often come even bigger hurdles. Let’s be honest, life is never really that simple (as much as we wish it were.) I used to be in the black and white mindset too, sworn that I would abstain from all means of addiction for all eternity. That only really lead to more addictions, more rules, and more obsession.
As I began to learn to let go, and started to live again, my black and whites started to turn to grey. The grey areas made me SO happy, the balance - when completely centred - added up to the life I loved. But as you can imagine, balance is sometimes really hard to maintain, so without fault of my own I also started to make mistakes…and sometimes slip up too.
But you see, with a new mindset, and healthier head on my shoulders, these slip-ups no longer defined me. Not like the tears, fear and guilt like before. In fact they became, and remain to be, the exact thing that defines my own personal development. You see, without bumps in the road and without setbacks, we can sometimes forget our direction and forget why it is that we choose to live the life that we do.
So for anyone struggling with addiction, or more specifically relapse today, I can promise you that YOU CAN CHOOSE to use this moment as something better. Something that teaches you about yourself and that leads you closer to a life that you love. For me that's all about kindness towards myself, good food (read: pancakes) and good company. Not restriction.
I know that the moment that you start accepting, rather than hating, understanding rather than questioning…everything will change. Love yourself first. Please 😘