Really feeling this today. I was lamenting about how I feel like I am losing a part of myself and I feel like I'm fading away as a person. I'm trying to accept that working and having a career might just not be for me. A career has always been my main focus in life but maybe it's not the right thing for me so I'm trying to give up on that dream and live more realistically by trying to accept my limitations. That's not to say I'll never have a job again but it'll just have to be something part time to help with income but not a real career.
That idea is very difficult for me to accept. I mean who am I if I can't do what I set out to do in this life? It's almost like life is a big fuck you me. Giving me a passion for animals and the gift of being naturally medically inclined but then not allowing me to actually use my skills and abilities in a productive way. I try not feel sorry for myself but it really feels like a big fuck you from the universe!
It is soul crushing but what can I do? I'm not hopefull at all about my feet ever getting better. I know in my bones that eventually it will be so bad that I will need assistance.
My boyfriend who has my heart and soul and is my rock said today that maybe I am losing a part of myself but I may also be gaining new parts and reminded me that it may just take longer than I expected for things to work out. He pointed out how his dreams didn't start coming true until 20 years after he gave up on them. That really resonated within me and for the first time in my life something clicked into place and I realized I have my whole life ahead of me and I don't have to give up on my dreams just because they aren't happening when and how I thought they #chooselove#mentalhealth#plantarfasciitis#chronicfootpain#selflove#recovery#tarsaltunnelsyndrome#selfcare#chronicpain